Sunday, August 20, 2006

A question that I had to ask when I was 4

چرا شنگول و منگول و حبه ی انگور پدر نداشتند؟؟
***

Les femmes préfèrent être belles plûtot qu'intelligentes Parce que, chez les hommes, il y a beaucoup plus d'idiots que d'aveugles!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

My Birthday, Mon Anniversaire, Meinem Geburtstag...All mine :D

VOILA! Another year past!
I wanna go to Neverland and never grow up; like Peter Pan.
Anyone familiar with the code KND?
I wanna be 5-6 years old again and be happy that my parents let me draw on the walls and get excited when Kollah Ghermezi and Aghaye mojri are on TV and pass all my day thinking how much I love my kindergarden teacher and argue with other kids on whose dad is taller and stronger.
...Well...I do like the fact that the older I get the more attention and credit I receive...but...who needs those?!!...let's PARTY...run around and scream [an ideal party]...well, two years ago at my birthday party I was the only one who's face got rubbed in the cake but the plot was long before hand planned, there was nothing I could do!
Anyway...I had a good start today. They woke me up and gave me the phone which my brother was on the otherside saying happy birthday and then I went back to sleep but then again they woke me up by coming into my room and chanting happy birthday and giving me breakfast in bed which was very nice.
I also received a lot of birthday calls, mails, cards and wishes which I got very surprised by, I really didn't expect so...
And I just came back from Rome few days ago after passing some great time with my lovely parents.

My birthday wish would be to go to Disneyland or Europark with one of my coolest friends who would not throw up on me and would be much more courageous than me and would make me get on all the rides.

things that happened on this day:
1377: مخالفت دولت با طرح افزايش سن جوانان در انتخابات.(جرايد)
22/5/1380 : تاسيس بانک اقتصاد نوين ، نخستين بانک خصوصي پس از انقلاب
22/5/1368 : درگذشت علي سامي، باستان شناس و نخستين ايراني کاوشگر تخت جمشيد
22/5/1332 : صدور فرمان‌ عزل‌ دکتر محمد مصدق و نخست وزيري سرلشکر زاهدي
22/5/531 : پايان حکومت غزنويان بر ايران خاوري
13اوت سال1961ميلادي: احداث ديواربرلين آغاز شد. اين ديوار برلين شرقي را محصور كرد. برلين پس ازجنگ جهاني دوم به اشغال قواي روسيه، انگلستان، فرانسه و امريكا درآمد. درسال1961ميلادي شوروي كه سراسر برلين و راه هاي ورودي به اين شهررا اشغال كرده بود آن را به طور يكجانبه به آلمان شرقي واگذار كرد و دولت آلمان شرقي هم بلافاصله بسياري از گذرگاههاي بين دو برلين را مسدود ساخت و رفت و آمد را ممنوع اعلام كرد. احداث ديوار برلين به طول 15كيلومتر و ارتفاع2/5متر ميان دوبخش برلين ازمهاجرت ساكنان برلين شرقي به برلين غربي جلوگيري مي كرد. گفتني است كه ديوار برلين درسال1989فروريخته شد.
13اوت سال 1598ميلادي: هانري چهارم شاه فرانسه فرمان نانت را صادر كرد. اين فرمان براي جلوگيري از بروز جنگهاي مذهبي درفرانسه صادرشد. درفرمان نانت به پروتستانها آزادي مذهبي اعطا شده بود. فرمان تاريخي و مهم نانت درزمان لويي 14در سال1685ميلادي لغو شد.
13اوت سال1910ميلادي: فلورانس نايتينگل بنيانگذار پرستاري در90سالگي درگذشت. فلورانس ازمردم ايتاليا بود ولي بعدها مليت انگليسي ها را انتخاب كرد. درسال1856ميلادي در جنگهاي كريمه كه ميان امپراتوري عثماني و دولت تزاري روسيه روي داد، نايتينگل عده اي را براي پرستاري از مجروحان به منطقه جنگي برد و خود نيز به كمك و راهنمايي آنان شتافت. بدين ترتيب پرستاري جديد را بنيان گذاشت
13اوت سال 94 ميلادي: هم مرز شدن ايران و چين در دوره حکومت اشکانيان

Btw, I asked for no cake and I blew no candles.

How do orphans celebrate their birthdays? Do they even know the date of their birth?! :>(

Thursday, August 03, 2006

...let's catch it and put in a jar

I went and saw "The Omen" with friends, it was the last day that it was in the cinemas, "X-Men" also was it's last day so I was stuck between, thought the rating of X-Men was higher than The Omen and I was sure that it would be a cool movie I chose to go to The Omen, I didn't know anyone who had seen X-Men and instinctively I was more eager to see The Omen because it was released on the 6.06.2006. it was ok, I actually liked it, I didn't get bored even a minute so that means thumbs up. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" is something to be seen for sure and if I ever get the time-which I won't- I'll go and see "My Super Ex-Girlfriend".
D'OH..."The simpsons" movie is coming out 2007 and I HAVE to see it, I'll die, I won't be able to have a normal life if I don't, but I'll be in Iran...few days ago when I had lost my faith in The Simpsons thinking how educative it is, when I was a child it had some bad influence, but now, from my view, it's too educative so I thought that it's days are over for me, but just that day, they showed one of the oldy ones that I hadn't seen; Marge asked Homer to find a husband for aunt Selma, and the way homer was searching for a man was ironic[reminded me of the way mothers search for a bride in Iran]and at last he found...Seymor Skinner, who ended up in love with aunt Patty...so anyway, I gained back my faith. I was just simply tired of the reruns they showed but still I think that it's really too educative.

My favorite character is Szyslak Moe, the former boxer, the owner of the bar, where you can take your romantic temperature with the love tester machine, ride the mechanical bull, or witness the rattling fury of the washer/dryer drag races, but what I love the most is his shady smuggling operations and how he's a snakehandler and how he reads stories to sick children in the hospital AND HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER :)...then there are C.M.Burns, Herschel Krustofski, Otto Man, Homer, Bart and my friend, Robert Terwilliger, you know him as Sideshow Bob...Matt Groening's best liked is Lisa. Now I'm reading some of their comic books, they're funny, I've put some of it's panels, enjoy;


A dialogue between Lisa and Fat Tony when she wanted to stop Fat Tony-the mafia - from doing something illegal:















This is for the Napoleon lovers:

Homer: "To alcohol! The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems"

Homer: "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."

Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? R U Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)

Homer: "Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

Homer:"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try."

Home:"Whatever you become there are always millions of people who are better than you"

This is Sideshow Bob teaching in his "School of Crime".

"There's no crime too big, no crime too impossible to pull off, no amout of protection great enough to keep your target one hundred percent safe as long as you remember one thing always, people are Idiots, just be less of an idiot than everyone else, and you'll never be caught."

Maggie marries her childhood enemy, the one eyebrowed baby...why do people always end up marrying those who they hated once?...and why is it that our school enemies become our best friends after few years?!!

Rod & Todd-Flander's sons- work in a Nightclub[See what religion can do to you!! ;) ]
No, they actually have Hormone Imbalance and Flander's spending all his money on their Estrogen Treatments.


These are some of the blackboard lines that Bart wrote during his detentions which worth reading:
I will not instigate revolution

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I did not see Elvis

I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom / [reminds me of George in Seinfield]

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not belch the National Anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

High explosives and school don't mix

I will not bribe Principal Skinner /[ I remember trying to bribe two of my teachers in my school when I was in Iran]

Underwear should be worn on the inside

The Christmas Pageant does not stink

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not carve gods

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not conduct my own fire drills

Funny noises are not funny [hihihi]

I will not spin the turtle

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

This punishment is not boring and pointless [HA HA]

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not bring sheep to class

A burp is not an answer [I remember a classmate in Australia who answered the teacher by farting, he's nickname was Zac and was always told to stand out side]

Teacher is not a leper

The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

I will not call the principal "spud head"

Goldfish don't bounce

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell miracle cures [...mmm]

I will return the seeing-eye dog

I will not charge admission to the bathroom [done that]

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals [lol]

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

I will not send lard through the mail

I will not dissect things unless instructed

Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal [WOOOOOOOO...my favorite]

"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

I will not strut around like I own the place [ :D ]

The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

I do not have power of attorney over first graders [ neeeeeeeeeeeeeat ]

Nerve gas is not a toy

I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

The First Amendment does not cover burping

"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

No one wants to hear from my armpits

I am not a lean mean spitting machine [hahaha]

The boys room is not a water park

Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

I am not certified to remove asbestos

I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten [ OOOH YEEEEEEEA, GO BART]

I am not my long-lost twin

I will not hide the teacher's Prozac

I will not lie in front of the school bus with ketchup on my face

A fire drill does not demand a fire

There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" [ what creativity]

Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related

Shooting paintballs is not an art form

My butt does not deserve a website

"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address

"The President did it" is not an excuse

It does not suck to be you [ one of the best blackboard lines:)]

I have neither been there nor done that [ one of my best blackboard lines]

Fridays are not "pants optional" [ lol ]

I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize

I won't not use no double negatives

I can't see dead people

My suspension was not "mutual"

A belch is not an oral report

Dodgeball stops at the gym door

"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge

I was not touched "there" by an angel

I am not here on a fartball scholarship

I will not dance on anyone's grave

I cannot hire a substitute student

I will not obey the voices in my head[:(]

I will not surprise the incontinent

I was not the sixth Beatle

I will only provide a urine sample when asked [ ur poor classmates]

Science class should not end in tragedy [ hahahahahahha, nice one]

I will not "let the dogs out"

I will not hide the teacher's medication

The hamster did not have "a full life"

I will not flush evidence

***

Maybe this is just a way for me to get away from BBC, CNN, Aljazeerah and Alalam hearing about Lebanon and Israel and Rice, I'm also improving my arabic by these news channels, I've became fond of arabic, I learnt the word إرهاب meaning Terrorism from the phrase الإرهاب، لا دين له said in a Publicity showing a guy doing a suicide attack in a crowded market...!![We live in a very sick world]