دلم میخواد چشمم و ببندم
بپرم تو چاه ِ ویل
در سیاهی به پایین شتاب بگیرم
...
علم به اینکه هیچ وقت به ته ش نمی رسم بسیار آرام بخش است

هر روز به خودم یاد آوری می کنم که چی شد به ایران تبعید شدم

اسهال ِ پست گذاشتن گرفتم

خدا بزرگه...

اولین کاری که پس از جمع کردن اتافم می کنم اینه که تو دفتر خاطراتم اتفاقات مهم رو بنویسم و بعد غزل عیدم رو کامل می کنم!
...از اول اسفند منتظرم ببینم کی جمع میشه

جوانی بگذرد، تو قدرش ندانی

پنج شنبه :
امروز سه جلسه ی پیاپی شد که کلاس فرانسه نرفتم.
صبح اومدم با "گرین دِی" بپرم بالا و پایین
دیدم نه!
امروز از اون روزهاست،
روز ِ نهانخانه ی دل ِ بیژن بیژنی و دلشدگان ِ شجریانه!

احساس شدید ِ بی هنری ِ من

ماهی قرمز و سیاه ِ عیدم هر روز سیاهیش کمتر میشه
منم هر روز قرمزیم کمتر میشه

I want my money back!

آب جو ِ بدون الکل دیگه چه کوفتیه!!!!!!!

An opportunity comes once in a life time

زیر دوش دهنم رو اندازه ی سر دوش باز کرده بودم

ببینم چقدر می تونم آب ببلعم

سرم گیج رفت

با کله رفتم تو توالت فرنگی

چقدر آب توش یخ بود

بیخود نیست سگ ها اینقدر دوست دارند ازش آب بخورند

کاش من هم یه هورتی میکشیدم...

ممکنه دیگه موقعیتش پیش نیاد

If u think I'de leave here 4 Blogfa or Persianblog...u're damn Wrong!

Blogspot didn't open during the weekend so I couldn't update!
...I felt so "unexpressed" !

امروز، روز مهمی بود

چقدر اتفاق افتاد امروز
چفدر من دوست دارم اینجا بنویسم
چقدر من حوصله اش را ندارم

من به صورتی مداوم از زندگی کردن احساس حمافت میکنم

بازنگری پرونده ی ملی شدن نفت در ایران

گودرز افتخار جهرمی
محمد ترکمان
محمد علی موحد
فرشاد مومنی
عبدالرضا هوشنگ مهدوی
هادی وحید
{+ کاشانی}

امروز تو جلسه اش شرکت کردم
توجیهات اقدام به ملی کردن نفت ، چالش ها و پیامدهای آن
--->عیدی سال 87 من یود

...حالا دارم توضیح میدم که شازده کجاست...

ساعت 6:20 خارج
ساعت 20 وارد
سر درد شدید
...یه راننده ی تاکسی که هیچ جا رو تو تهران نمیشناسه
خونه
من و یه لیتر Orange Nectar
انقدر که حالت تهوع و دل درد هم به سردردم افزوده شد
...دلم دریا میخواد...

Red and Rover

It's where I go to unwind

Green Day 4 eva

YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

• I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies

Hitler

OK! Let's see if I can go around!

We'll be going to Golabdarre tomorrow morning!
And I have so much to do...
I have to give my papers with the proper translation to my friend on Saturday morning!
I have 4 more pages to go and I still haven't even worked on the footnotes!
I haven't cleaned my room yet!
There are many clothes that should be hand washed!
I have to rewrite some of the notes that I took in class in the past week!
I have to go to my tailor!
...And I wanted to write a Ghazal too...
I've chatted away the whole noon and right now I'm still chatting!

...Sometimes I wander if I would ever get there!

...ANYTHING but ordinary PLZ!

Age kasiro ta hala nemishnakhti
ke 4shanbe sobh kolli rah bere ta uni
yek kelase oumoumi dashte bashe
sherkat nakone o bargarde khoune

hala mishnasi

tomorrow can always be a better day!

بارون! گرد غم رو از شیشه ی دلم پاک کن

Sof!a's in a fight with Pinky

get out of my head
get off my bed
yea
that's what i said!

...freaking myself out

شده ساعت 6:20 صبح ساعتت رو ببندی

ساعت 6:11 عصر باز کنی

و انقدر محکم بسته باشی که جای سگک کوچولوش خون اومده باشه

to hell

میرم

انقدر میرم تا سرم بخوره به سنگ

بعد انقدر سرم رو میکوبم

تا بشکنه

یه نکته ی حقوقی جالب

اگر کاری کنی که موهای یک خانم بریزه و دیگه در نیاد باید دیه ی کامل یک قتل نفس رو بپردازی!

87 روز 16 فروردین

فردا تعطیل نیست فیتیله!

دیگه خواب و خوراک تعطیله!

مخ منم پُکیده!

رنگم پریده!

موهام ژولیده!

لباسام چروکیده!

ساعتم خوابیده!

چشمه ­ام خشکیده!

شُعورم کَپَکَیده!

تاول­ صبرم ترکیده!

برنامه ­هام قاطیه!

کِرم ­هام لولیده!

حوصله ­ام پریده!

تخیلاتم خشکیده!

احساساتم آبکیه!

ادب ­ام مالیاتیه!

دم و دستگام پوسیده!

اتاقم زاییده!

گل آفتاب گردونم پلاسیده!

امیدهام ماسیده!

.

دانشگاه الافیه!

TV سر کاریه!

رمان ­ها طویله!

مارک ­ها قلابیه!

غذاها تکراریه!

زن ِ­ فیلتریه!

مردِ­ سنتیه!

.

بی خیال، کلاً رُسَم کشیده!

FC

...Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Moi: The last time I saw this movie was I think 3 years ago! ...I'll plan to watch it at the first 3 free hours that I find!

Fight Club

If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this is useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned... Tyler"

...Thanks 4 acting like u care!

My stupid ADSL line doesn't allow me to enter Blogspot

So I couldn't update!

Whatever that happens during the day just makes me

hate them*

more and more and more and more and more and …

*"Them" refers to the WHOLE system!

من نگویم که مرا از قفس آزاد کنید / قفسم برده به باغی و دلم شاد کنید

I went to Kakh-e Golestan.
I saw our weakness
I felt it with all of my cells
I'm ashamed of having their countries name in my identity card!

I'm fine with being an Iranian but I wish "they" weren't!

PS. It's full of pictures of naked women! ...Hmmm...pas mal... ;)

Forever Young

Every story has a beginning but no story truely has an end..

Sailing tO the mOOn

من سال 87 رو خیلی دوست دارم :)
شروعش که شیرین بود :)
یه حسی میگه که از بهترین سالهام خواهد بود!!!
من احساسم هییییییچ وقت اشتباه نمی کند!!!
...

Not that I'm Stubborn or anything...

...I couldn't care less about you...

I don't want to talk about it
I don't want a conversation
I wanna cry in front of you
I wanna sit and stare at you

happy but ...

Me taken apart in pieces

Like a puzzle

Analyzing everything

Easier

But now

Can't put the pieces back together!

Happy!

...but lost!

...Dying...

I am certain that after the dust of centuries
has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered
not for victories or defeats in battle
or in politics, but for
our contribution to the human spirit.

- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Don't try to understand this post!

This week's been one of my best weeks!
I'm very relaxed! I feel no burden on my shoulders!
Everything's like when i was in Switzerland!
The same moods, the same smells and perfumes, the same bed, the same musics, the same people...
.
I'm free again!
Thank you God!
I thought I'll never actually get over it but now I'm grateful that it came up!
...I'm free to think again...

Use The Fire Escape!

باید زودتر از اینجا فرار کنم، قبل از اینکه خودم تو پیچیدگی این مردم بپیچم

Sweeney Todd: Never forgive; Never forget!ُ

چقدر بدم تا ترموستات هایی که تو کنکور سوزوندم رو تعمیر کنی؟
حاضرم واسش جون همه ی دست اندر کارهای آموزش و پرورشمون رو بپردازم!
چی؟
بیشتر از این ها باید بدم!ا

فاطی کماندو

دیشب مردم از غبطه

این دختر

کاری که من در 3-4 سال نمی تونم انجام بدم رو

در دو ماه انجام میده!

جالبیش اینه که واسه تمام این کارهاش هم از من نظر میگیره!

منو خیلی قبول داره

منم خیلی دوسش دارم

.

اگه پسر بودم حتماً می گرفتمش

بی درنگ! سریع! بدون هیچ حرف پس و پیش!

به هر قیمتی!

.

نمی دونم چه طوری اینجوری بازی می کنه

دیشب مردم از غبطه

.

تقصیر خودمه!

من دوست دارم آروم بازی کنم

ولی دیگه از بازی خسته شدم

اینو فقط گفتم،

ولی در هر حال به بازی هام ادامه میدم

می ترسم از روزی که واقعاً خسته بشم و ول کنم!

پات کنم یا با دست خودم مهره هارو بریزم به هم!

.

اون روز، روزی است که طوطی ها را میفروشم!

.

متعصب

به نظر من "تاریخ" فقط و فقط واسه پند گرفتن است...مطالعه ی تاریخ هیچ سود دیگری ندارد...
کسانی که به تاریخ استناد میکنند و آن را مایه ی افتخار خود میدانند، انسانهای بسیار ضعیف و ترسویی هستند... کسانی که نمیتوانند چشمهاشون رو باز کنند و واقعیت را ببینند، ببیبند که در حال حاضر دارند در لجن زندگی میکنند و به کورش هیچ ربطی ندارند

قمری

خدا خیر بده به این سال قمری!

هی می­چرخه... ما هم خوشحالیم که سال ِ دیگه این تعطیلات میفته وسط ِهفته... کاش بیشتر وسط هفته شهید بشن و کمتر آخر هفته­ها...

... ترجیحاً از سر یا ته به آخر هفته بچسبن که دیگه همه راضی باشیم...

Unbelievable!

Going to uni in Iran really decreases your expectations from life!!!
***

Today I reached home from uni in less than 45 minutes!

I feel great!

In fact I feel fantastic…

I feel happy that I'm home before sunset!

...Just living here makes you learn how to cope with unbearable conditions such as being in traffic for 3-4(5) hours per day!

We have the same story about food here! If you eat uni's food u really end up appreciating home-made food much more...

The same about praying, when u pray in uni u can't understand a word that you're saying but at home u really happen to appreciate the silence!

The lavatory as well...

I've caught an awful cold today!
We have guests and I was planning to watch "Sweeney Todd" with them but I happen to hardly be able to open my eyes! I stayed in bed for hours; I was worried that I would get a heatstroke under the quilts! :P

I went driving with our own car yesterday, it was much easier than what I thought, I imagined that since I've trained with a Pride, the other cars would take a while to get used to but I was wrong! It takes me hours to get to university and I wasn't thinking about taking our own car because it's too luxurious and I don't want to seem different from others and in fact I like hanging around with my classmates unlike past years but at the same time I have no time to waste and truly, this economic way of transportation is really a waste of time even if I'm with friends!! I assume that from next term I'd come with our car! It was my mom's idea...
I love luxury but I do my best to control it but I'm not gonna pass one third of my life sleeping, one third eating and another third in taxis or buses!!
Tehran sucks!

GhOoR gHoOr ---> That's my Ringtone

چند روز پیش همش زنگ میزد به مبایلم و با "محدثه" کار داشت. یه پسر جوون بود، شایدم یه مرد پیر که صداش جوون بود...

گفتم اشتباه گرفتید!

2-3 بار دوباره زنگ زد، شماره رو پرسیدم، درست می گرفت!

گفت:

- این شماره به شما واگذار شده؟

-نه

-جدید گرفتید؟

-نه

-شما خونتون طرف های سعادت آباد اینهاست؟

-نه

...

آخرش در کمال نا امیدی گفت:

- پس من این همه مدت با کی حرف میزدم؟

- [ترکیدم از خنده] – [مقداد بعداً پیشنهاد داد که بگم:"شاید من شخصیت­های مختلف دارم، چند ساعت دیگه زنگ بزنید شاید اونی که دتبالشید گوشی رو برداشت!"]

آخرش به خنده بهش گفتم که "متاسفم" !

بیچاره پکر شده بود!

وقتی گفتم "خدا نگهدار"، گفت:"goodbye" !

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
-Plato

So true :)

حسین

هر چند که پارسا نیم اما نوشته ام
بر لوح دل محبت مردان پارسا

عاشورا. دكتر علی شريعتي

در عجبم از مردمي که خود زير شلاق ظلم و ستم زندگي مي کنند، و بر حسيني مي گريند که آزادانه زيست

****

حسين بيشتر از آب،تشنه لبيك بود .
اما افسوس كه به جاي افكارش،
زخمهاي تنش را نشانمان دادند ،و بزرگترين درد او را بي آبي معرفي كردند

لعنت به من

?????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????

حافظا تکیه بر ایام چو سهوست و خطا

من چرا عشرت امروز به فردا فکنم
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Bored too easily

I have the most interesting and successful life a young girl in my age can have but despite this active life I'm feeling old and slow.
I think it would be wise to take one term off from uni and lay back in my beautiful room watching my parrots caress each other; Or maybe I should take as much lessons as I can so I wouldn't have time to think about mankind's pointless life; specially after eye witnessing a middle aged man commit suicide in the metro I've been wandering more about studying Philo and forgetting Law.

راستش در حال حاضر دیگه خستگی کنکور از تنم در اومده ولی یه کم دیر در اومد چون امتحانات رسیدن...د بدون آمادگی من!!

برف هم اومد... باز بدون آمادگی من!!

کلاس­های دانشگاه تهران رو می­رم ... کلاس فلسفه و منطق... 4شنبه کلاس حقوق با جعفری طبار رو میرم ... این دفعه با آمادگی!!

موندم رشته ی دوم چی انتخاب کنم... باید اول ببینم بهشتی چی داره

توله سگ

از کلاس اقتصاد آمدم بیرون و رفتم کتاب "انسان شناسی حقوقی "را گرفتم. در حالی که به ماشین زانتیا ی دکتر سیفی- استاد مدنی 1 ام- فکر می­کردم و اینکه چرا اکثر اساتیدمان ماشین نقره­ای رنگ سوار می­شن، یه توله سگ تازه به دنیا آمده دیدم جلوی دانشکده!! داشت خودش و لیس می­زد ... خیلی لاغربا موهای سیاه و کم پشت در حالی که پوست صورتی نازش را می­شد دید ... در آن حال متوجه اتفاق افتادن حالت "عشق در یک نگاه" شدم ... می­خواستم پوزه­اش را بوس کنم

دلم براش خیلی سوخت چون من نمی­تونستم اونجا وایستم و از حقوقش دفاع کنم چون شدیدا عجله داشتم و با سیستم رفتاری افتضاح ایرانی­ها با حیوانات هم دیگه همه آشناییم؛ بنداز تو گونی و ... بقیش را حتی نمی­تونم بگم، تو ایران جون آدم ها مجانی است دیگه چه برسد به جون یه سگ کوچولو
اگه تنها زندگی می­کردم حتما با خودم می­آوردم خونه. تو خونه همینجوری با من و حیواناتم مشکل دارن، طوطی­هامو که انداختن بیرون ... دارن خودمم میندازن بیرون ... اگه می­فهمیدن به سگ هم دست زدم با یه تریلی خاک، آب می­کشیدنم
بعد از ظهر که رفتم دانشکده اونجا نبود، ناراحت شدم
تا امروز گربه بازی می­کردیم بعد از کلاس، حالا حق انتخاب هم پیدا کرده بودیم ...
سگ سالم و خوشحالی به نظر می­رسید

امتحان کن

بهترین کاری که میشه تو تاکسی در شهر تهران کرد این است که اپرا گوش بدی. وحشتناک حال خواهی کرد ... کلا چهره­ی شهر، آدم­ها و ترافیک برات عوض میشه.
امروز دانشگاه آمدنی آنقدر به وجد آمدم که دلم نمی­خواست از ماشین پیاده شم

از وقتی رانندگی می کنم متوجه شدم که به عنوان یک پیاده خیلی بیشتر باید مراقب باشم وقتی از خیابان رد می شم، راننده ها آنقدر که فکر می کردم به پیاده ها توجه نمی کنند

Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before.

-Shel Silverstein

1-800-PSYCH

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive,
 please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent,
 please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities,
 please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional,
 we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic,
 listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.
If you are depressed,
 it doesn't matter which number you press. No one
will answer. 

... :( ....

مرنجان دلم را که این مرغ وحشی
ز بامی که برخاست مشکل نشیند

=))

A Bishop was approached one morning by a Priest.

"Your Eminence," the Priest said, "there's a young lad here who claims

to be seeing a vision of our Savior in the chapel. What should I do ?"

The Bishop jumped up saying, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm
gonna look real busy !"

"Let no one be discouraged by the belief that there is nothing one man
or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world's ills --
against misery and ignorance, injustice and violence... Few will have
the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a
small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be
written the history of this generation...

It is from the numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human
history is shaped. Each time a man (or a woman) stands up for an ideal,
or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice,
he (or she) sends a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a
million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a
current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and
resistance."

- Robert Francis Kennedy, speech at Day of Affirmation, University of
Capetown, South Africa

آنچه یافت می نشود آنم آرزوست

Where I Lived, and What I lived for

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake . . . by an infinite
expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest
sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability
of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor.

- Henry David Thoreau, "Walden, from “Where I Lived, and What I
Lived For”"

"The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or to
say a new thing in an old way."

- Richard Harding Davis


JOKE:
Two guys in a car drive right through a red
light."Man, you just ran that red light!" exclaimed the passenger."Don't
worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.They continue
driving through town and then proceed to drive through another stop
light."You just ran another stop light! You're going to get us killed!"
screamed the nervous passenger."Don't worry, my brother does it all the
time," repeated the driver.Moments later, they approached a green light
and they came to a halting stop."Why are you stopping?" asked the anxious
passenger.The driver turned and said, "Because my brother might be
coming!"

words are cheap these days :(

Once upon a time, there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own,
was cast under a spell by an evil witch.

The curse prevented the prince from speaking or writing but for only
one word each year.

However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a
whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

One day, he met a beautiful princess and fell madly in love with her.

With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole
years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end
of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he
waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent
years to
5.

At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to
marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.

Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in
that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her
lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, "My darling, I
love you! Will you marry me?"

And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear,
opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,
"Pardon?"

=))

روز بی خنده روز تلف شده است
***

پست بعدی در مورد فریبرز است، همه ازش خوششون میاد جز مامانم

هندونه ...انار...آجیل...دوست...فامیل...خنده

به نظر من شب یلدا قشنگترین و رومانتیک ترین شب سال است :) کلی مهمان داشتیم. خوب بود...خوب بود چون تنها نبودیم وگرنه ایده ی من از شب یلدا متفاوت است...یعنی خوب بود ولی اولا من کار داشتم ثانیا برای من سرگرم کننده ای نبود
so it wasn't really as amusing as i would like my shabe Yalda to be
من همیشه فکر می کنم که یکی از مهمترین و زیباترین اتفاق های زندگیم شب یلدایی خواهد افتاد
I'll be waiting for it paciently
جواب کنکور آزمایشیم اومد، خیلی بالاتر از انتظارم بود :دی
بد جنسی است ولی حقیقت است: امتحاناتی مثل کنکور که فقط باید "بهتر از بقیه بدی" خیلی خوب چون کافیست کمی بهتر از بقیه بدی یا "بقیه بد بدن" :دی قرار نیست واقعا ما خوب بدیم
that makes the job easy ...
کنکور خیلی باحاله، ازش خوشم میاد، واسه منی که باید 4 سال 1 سال کنم
comme toujours
،چالنج باحالیه... البته کمی سخت ولی...حالم میاره
البته این سیستم کنکور واسه منی که ایران نبودم و حالا برگشتم و می خوام یه یونی خوب برم خیلی خوبست ... امسال یک دفعه میتونم خودم و مطرح کنم و برگردم نوک جدول

فردا کنکور آزمایشی قام چی دارم، زیاد مهم نیست، بیشتر واسه تمرین است ولی مطمئنم که دو رقمی میارم.

چو فردا بر آید آفتاب
من و گرز و میدان افراسیاب

Life is too short for the wrong job

An advertisement for a job recruiting company in Berlin, Germany. Depicting people working in the vending machines, ATMs, it delivers the message that 'Life is too short for the wrong job'.

a perfect way, to start a day

پنجشنبه، صبح، ساعت 6:15، تو ماشین، قطره های بارون رو شیشه، تو اتوبان، رادیو روشن، میخوند

هر چی آرزوی خوبه، مال تو
هرچی که خاطره داري، مال من

اون روزای عاشقونه، مال تو
اين شبای بيقراری، مال من

j'aime bien le foot

من عموما سال های دبستانم را فوتبال بازی می کردم، راهنمایی و دبیرستان به صورت حرفه ای به بسکتبال روی آوردم . البته تجربیات دوران دبستانم باعث این انتخاب شد که البته در مدرسه ی راهنماییم هم فقط بسکتبال یا والیبال می تونستم انتخاب کنم (بنده ارادت خاصی به والیبال دارم که به صورت حرفه ای و زیبا در دبیرستان باهاش بودم ، کلا طرفدار زیاد داره در نتیجه ناخودآگاه زیاد بازی می کنه آدم)...خلاصه من خیلی نگران بودم که نکنه استعدادم را در فوتبال از دست داده باشم آخه معلم ورزشم تو استرالیا، تو مدرسه، همیشه بهم متذکر می شد که در فوتبال استعداد خاصی دارم ولی من هیچ وقت تعریفاتش را جدی نگرفتم . چند ماه پیش به این فکر افتادم که بجای بسکت فوتبال را دنبال کنم، یکی از بزرگترین دلایلش اینه که با دست بازی نمی کنی چون من خیلی دستهام برام مهمِ و بدترین اتفاق اینه که دستم چیزیش شه، البته تا حالا اتفاقی نیفتاده و امیدوارم که هیچ وقت نیفته ولی ریسکِ از یک طرف هم بازی بسکت خیلی سریعتر از فوتبالِ، فوتبال به نظر من نسبت به بسکت خیلی طولانی و آروم پیش میره، اکشنش کم است... امروز با کلی از بچه ها رفتیم باشگاه و فوتسال و بسکت بازی کردیم، با اینکه بیشتر از یک سال و نیم است که جز پیاده روی های کوتاه و یکی دو دست بسکتِ بی حال کاری نکرده بودم و بدنم خشک بود، خیلی خوب بازی کردم و کلی باز تحسین شنیدم که البته همچنان جدی گرفته نمی شه...البته تحویل نگرفتن تعریفات بخاطر این است که لیاقتشو ندارم و همه مثل هم بازی می کنیم...خلاصه بین بسکت و فوتبال موندم و برام هم خیلی مهمِ است که حتما ورزش خاصی را به صورت حرفه ای دنبال کنم...به خاطر ورزش نکردن هم چند کیلو اضافه شدم که البته زیاد آزارم نمیده چون میدونم به همون راحتی که اومده میره
...باز هم انتخاب

Run...Don't walk

دیروز اطاقم و جمع کردم. از وقتی اومده بودم ایران جمع نکرده بودم، خیلی از وسایلام همچنان در کارتونه.
تصمیم گرفتم که به گفته ی دکتر فرهنگ گوش کنم و یک حیطه ی مطالعه قرار بدم، یعنی جایی که توش هیچ کاری جز درس خواندن انجام ندم، یعنی نمی تونی در عین درس خوندن بخوری، اگه میخوای بخوری باید از پای میز بلند شی، همچنین آب نوشیدن، همچنین فکر کردن، همچنین خمیازه کشیدن، همچنین سر خاروندن...واسه همش باید از پای میزت بلند شی. دکتر فرهنگ گفتش که اینطوری تمرکزمون در اون موضع مکانی خیلی میره بالا، البته گفت 20 روز طول میکشه...فعلا زمان مطالعه ام را خیلی آورده پایین ولی از ایده اش خیلی خوشم اومد و برای سالهای آتی هم عادت خوبی میشه!...حتما بعدا در موردش مینویسم که ببینید کار میکنه یا نه!
فردا دومین کنکور آزمایشی سنجش رو دارم... و همچنین قلمچی ولی سنجش رو جدی تر گرفتم،قرار شد ساعت 6 صبح برم قلمچی ابراز وجود کنم و 7 برم سر سنجش... هر چی به امتحان نزدیک تر میشه رله تر میشم! ... امیدوارم سر کنکور هم همینطور باشم.
قرار بود بعد از سنجش با بچه ها بریم رستوران، نکه جمعه است و ما هم خیلی تو این چند هفته زحمت کشیدیم...هی هی هی... بد نیست یه صفایی بکنیم :)...ولی بخاطر مهمونی ما به هم خورد :(...باید بیام خونه. آخه همه ی جوون های فامیل و عروس ها دعوت اند، یه نموره بی ادبی و بی فرهنگی اگه نباشم. حالا ماه دیگه...
برای پنجمین بار در عمر بلاگ نویسیم تصمیم گرفتم که بلاگم و بیشتر آپ کنم.
هر پنجشنبه از این به بعد میخوام در مورد یکی از اتفاقات جالب هفته ام بنویسم...انشاالله.
داشتم داستان بر دار شدن حسنک وزیر رو میخوندم...تاسف خوردم...
الان میرم جغرافی بخونم. جدیدا به جغرافی خیلی علاقه مند شدم، به صورت حرفه ای تحصیل کردنش خیلی واسم جالب! البته همچنان کفه ی حقوق/ اقتصاد سنگین تر.
تو پست بعدی در مورد جواب کنکورم می نویسم

Aging Brains

They say you get smarter every day that you’re alive until some tipping point. After that, because your brain starts to rot with age, you get dumber every day. I wonder if I'll know when it happens. That would be a bad day. “Something feels different today. I wonder what…uh-oh.”

I already forget more things than ever. But to be fair, I have more things to forget. So even if my retention-to-forgetting ratio stayed constant, I’d be forgetting more next year than I knew by the age of 17. At that age if I couldn't eat it, bounce it, or masturbate to it, there was no place for it in my world.

I used to worry because I have less energy than I did when I was a kid. Then I learned that kids sleep about 12 hours a night. If I slept that much you’d have to medicate me to keep me in my chair too. And I’ll bet I wouldn’t need to check my Blackberry when someone asked for my address. Not that I’ve done that as recently as this morning.

All the experts agree that kids can learn new languages faster than adults. I am not impressed. If I had as few problems as a 9-year old, I could learn Chinese over the weekend. Let that kid start worrying about his HTML code, Iran’s nuclear program, and the Alternative Minimum Tax trap – then let’s see who can conjugate faster.

To compensate for my inevitable mental decline I am already doing triage on entire categories of my memory. Anything I don’t need will be purged to make room for new stuff. I already got rid of the category I call “who wore what.” If I see you in the gym wearing a full chicken outfit I will remember that as “saw you working out.” Luckily I’m male, so it didn’t take much work to purge that category.

Eventually I plan to release all knowledge of complicated explanations for the world whenever simpler ones will do the trick. Evolution has to go. That’s way too complicated. I plan to remember only a few dozen species anyway, mostly the cute ones. I think we can all agree that there are too many unnecessary animals. I can’t be expected to remember them all. My long term objective is to remember nothing about animals except that the political party with the donkey symbol exists only to raise my taxes.

I’m also going to start lumping things together in my mind based on their similarities just to save space. From now on, stem cells are babies, and Iranians are Arabs. And they all live in North Korea with Osama.

And then I’ll vote.

November 17, 2006 in General Nonsense
Dilbert.Blog by Scott Adams


After 6 months thinking about reading Scott's blog I finally got the time. And voila, one of the posts.

PC quotes

1. Arezouye rooze tavalodam bar avarde shod, ghashang farda sobhesh :D
2.ye dastane jadid az in shangool o mangool shenidam roo tv, goft:
agha gorge pesaresho ferestad khooneye khanoum bozi vali vaghty pesaresh bargasht na harf mizad na dast be kari mizad, nagoo ke yek del na sad del asheghe habbeye angoor shode.

pas hamin boud majara!, agha gorge mikhasteh khanevadashouno bebine bad pesaresho bendaze be ounha! in dastano ba ekhtelafe 2 hafteh az poste ghabli shenidam.
3.inja maraseme asbabkheshoun darim.

***

"The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out..."

"WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue."

"COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key."

"Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though."

"Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!"

"Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..."

"Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)"

"General Failure's Fault. Not Yours."

"Hit any user to continue."

"Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying."

"Smash forehead on keyboard to continue."

"Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can."

"Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted."

"Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'"

"Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?"

"BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company."

I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself."

A question that I had to ask when I was 4

چرا شنگول و منگول و حبه ی انگور پدر نداشتند؟؟

***

Les femmes préfèrent être belles plûtot qu'intelligentes Parce que, chez les hommes, il y a beaucoup plus d'idiots que d'aveugles!

My Birthday, Mon Anniversaire, Meinem Geburtstag...All mine :D

VOILA! Another year past!

I wanna go to Neverland and never grow up; like Peter Pan.

Anyone familiar with the code KND?

I wanna be 5-6 years old again and be happy that my parents let me draw on the walls and get excited when Kollah Ghermezi and Aghaye mojri are on TV and pass all my day thinking how much I love my kindergarden teacher and argue with other kids on whose dad is taller and stronger.

...Well...I do like the fact that the older I get the more attention and credit I receive...but...who needs those?!!...let's PARTY...run around and scream [an ideal party]...well, two years ago at my birthday party I was the only one who's face got rubbed in the cake but the plot was long before hand planned, there was nothing I could do!

Anyway...I had a good start today. They woke me up and gave me the phone which my brother was on the otherside saying happy birthday and then I went back to sleep but then again they woke me up by coming into my room and chanting happy birthday and giving me breakfast in bed which was very nice.

I also received a lot of birthday calls, mails, cards and wishes which I got very surprised by, I really didn't expect so...

And I just came back from Rome few days ago after passing some great time with my lovely parents.

My birthday wish would be to go to Disneyland or Europark with one of my coolest friends who would not throw up on me and would be much more courageous than me and would make me get on all the rides.

things that happened on this day:

1377: مخالفت دولت با طرح افزايش سن جوانان در انتخابات.(جرايد)
22/5/1380 : تاسيس بانک اقتصاد نوين ، نخستين بانک خصوصي پس از انقلاب
22/5/1368 : درگذشت علي سامي، باستان شناس و نخستين ايراني کاوشگر تخت جمشيد
22/5/1332 : صدور فرمان‌ عزل‌ دکتر محمد مصدق و نخست وزيري سرلشکر زاهدي
22/5/531 : پايان حکومت غزنويان بر ايران خاوري
13اوت سال1961ميلادي: احداث ديواربرلين آغاز شد. اين ديوار برلين شرقي را محصور كرد. برلين پس ازجنگ جهاني دوم به اشغال قواي روسيه، انگلستان، فرانسه و امريكا درآمد. درسال1961ميلادي شوروي كه سراسر برلين و راه هاي ورودي به اين شهررا اشغال كرده بود آن را به طور يكجانبه به آلمان شرقي واگذار كرد و دولت آلمان شرقي هم بلافاصله بسياري از گذرگاههاي بين دو برلين را مسدود ساخت و رفت و آمد را ممنوع اعلام كرد. احداث ديوار برلين به طول 15كيلومتر و ارتفاع2/5متر ميان دوبخش برلين ازمهاجرت ساكنان برلين شرقي به برلين غربي جلوگيري مي كرد. گفتني است كه ديوار برلين درسال1989فروريخته شد.
13اوت سال 1598ميلادي: هانري چهارم شاه فرانسه فرمان نانت را صادر كرد. اين فرمان براي جلوگيري از بروز جنگهاي مذهبي درفرانسه صادرشد. درفرمان نانت به پروتستانها آزادي مذهبي اعطا شده بود. فرمان تاريخي و مهم نانت درزمان لويي 14در سال1685ميلادي لغو شد.
13اوت سال1910ميلادي: فلورانس نايتينگل بنيانگذار پرستاري در90سالگي درگذشت. فلورانس ازمردم ايتاليا بود ولي بعدها مليت انگليسي ها را انتخاب كرد. درسال1856ميلادي در جنگهاي كريمه كه ميان امپراتوري عثماني و دولت تزاري روسيه روي داد، نايتينگل عده اي را براي پرستاري از مجروحان به منطقه جنگي برد و خود نيز به كمك و راهنمايي آنان شتافت. بدين ترتيب پرستاري جديد را بنيان گذاشت
13اوت سال 94 ميلادي: هم مرز شدن ايران و چين در دوره حکومت اشکانيان

Btw, I asked for no cake and I blew no candles.

How do orphans celebrate their birthdays? Do they even know the date of their birth?! :>(

...let's catch it and put in a jar

I went and saw "The Omen" with friends, it was the last day that it was in the cinemas, "X-Men" also was it's last day so I was stuck between, thought the rating of X-Men was higher than The Omen and I was sure that it would be a cool movie I chose to go to The Omen, I didn't know anyone who had seen X-Men and instinctively I was more eager to see The Omen because it was released on the 6.06.2006. it was ok, I actually liked it, I didn't get bored even a minute so that means thumbs up. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" is something to be seen for sure and if I ever get the time-which I won't- I'll go and see "My Super Ex-Girlfriend".
D'OH..."The simpsons" movie is coming out 2007 and I HAVE to see it, I'll die, I won't be able to have a normal life if I don't, but I'll be in Iran...few days ago when I had lost my faith in The Simpsons thinking how educative it is, when I was a child it had some bad influence, but now, from my view, it's too educative so I thought that it's days are over for me, but just that day, they showed one of the oldy ones that I hadn't seen; Marge asked Homer to find a husband for aunt Selma, and the way homer was searching for a man was ironic[reminded me of the way mothers search for a bride in Iran]and at last he found...Seymor Skinner, who ended up in love with aunt Patty...so anyway, I gained back my faith. I was just simply tired of the reruns they showed but still I think that it's really too educative.

My favorite character is Szyslak Moe, the former boxer, the owner of the bar, where you can take your romantic temperature with the love tester machine, ride the mechanical bull, or witness the rattling fury of the washer/dryer drag races, but what I love the most is his shady smuggling operations and how he's a snakehandler and how he reads stories to sick children in the hospital AND HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER :)...then there are C.M.Burns, Herschel Krustofski, Otto Man, Homer, Bart and my friend, Robert Terwilliger, you know him as Sideshow Bob...Matt Groening's best liked is Lisa. Now I'm reading some of their comic books, they're funny, I've put some of it's panels, enjoy;


A dialogue between Lisa and Fat Tony when she wanted to stop Fat Tony-the mafia - from doing something illegal:















This is for the Napoleon lovers:

Homer: "To alcohol! The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems"

Homer: "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."

Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? R U Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)

Homer: "Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

Homer:"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try."

Home:"Whatever you become there are always millions of people who are better than you"

This is Sideshow Bob teaching in his "School of Crime".

"There's no crime too big, no crime too impossible to pull off, no amout of protection great enough to keep your target one hundred percent safe as long as you remember one thing always, people are Idiots, just be less of an idiot than everyone else, and you'll never be caught."

Maggie marries her childhood enemy, the one eyebrowed baby...why do people always end up marrying those who they hated once?...and why is it that our school enemies become our best friends after few years?!!

Rod & Todd-Flander's sons- work in a Nightclub[See what religion can do to you!! ;) ]
No, they actually have Hormone Imbalance and Flander's spending all his money on their Estrogen Treatments.

These are some of the blackboard lines that Bart wrote during his detentions which worth reading:
I will not instigate revolution

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I did not see Elvis

I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom / [reminds me of George in Seinfield]

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not belch the National Anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

High explosives and school don't mix

I will not bribe Principal Skinner /[ I remember trying to bribe two of my teachers in my school when I was in Iran]

Underwear should be worn on the inside

The Christmas Pageant does not stink

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not carve gods

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not conduct my own fire drills

Funny noises are not funny [hihihi]

I will not spin the turtle

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

This punishment is not boring and pointless [HA HA]

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not bring sheep to class

A burp is not an answer [I remember a classmate in Australia who answered the teacher by farting, he's nickname was Zac and was always told to stand out side]

Teacher is not a leper

The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

I will not call the principal "spud head"

Goldfish don't bounce

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell miracle cures [...mmm]

I will return the seeing-eye dog

I will not charge admission to the bathroom [done that]

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals [lol]

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

I will not send lard through the mail

I will not dissect things unless instructed

Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal [WOOOOOOOO...my favorite]

"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

I will not strut around like I own the place [ :D ]

The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

I do not have power of attorney over first graders [ neeeeeeeeeeeeeat ]

Nerve gas is not a toy

I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

The First Amendment does not cover burping

"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

No one wants to hear from my armpits

I am not a lean mean spitting machine [hahaha]

The boys room is not a water park

Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

I am not certified to remove asbestos

I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten [ OOOH YEEEEEEEA, GO BART]

I am not my long-lost twin

I will not hide the teacher's Prozac

I will not lie in front of the school bus with ketchup on my face

A fire drill does not demand a fire

There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" [ what creativity]

Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related

Shooting paintballs is not an art form

My butt does not deserve a website

"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address

"The President did it" is not an excuse

It does not suck to be you [ one of the best blackboard lines:)]

I have neither been there nor done that [ one of my best blackboard lines]

Fridays are not "pants optional" [ lol ]

I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize

I won't not use no double negatives

I can't see dead people

My suspension was not "mutual"

A belch is not an oral report

Dodgeball stops at the gym door

"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge

I was not touched "there" by an angel

I am not here on a fartball scholarship

I will not dance on anyone's grave

I cannot hire a substitute student

I will not obey the voices in my head[:(]

I will not surprise the incontinent

I was not the sixth Beatle

I will only provide a urine sample when asked [ ur poor classmates]

Science class should not end in tragedy [ hahahahahahha, nice one]

I will not "let the dogs out"

I will not hide the teacher's medication

The hamster did not have "a full life"

I will not flush evidence

***

Maybe this is just a way for me to get away from BBC, CNN, Aljazeerah and Alalam hearing about Lebanon and Israel and Rice, I'm also improving my arabic by these news channels, I've became fond of arabic, I learnt the word إرهاب meaning Terrorism from the phrase الإرهاب، لا دين له said in a Publicity showing a guy doing a suicide attack in a crowded market...!![We live in a very sick world]

Mission: شکار / Location: اتاق مريم / Time: 5:05 a.m / Time Zone: GMT+1

NOTE: I catch most of the insects and put them out on our balcony, I don't like killing them and I get bad conscience when I do but how high are my chances to catch a spider or those fast running beetles??

[ I was sitting peacefully working at my desk. Very well concentrated because of the good sleep I had. Five fingers away from my left eye came down a big spider with long striped golden legs.]

5:05 Saw the spider coming down, looked at it in shock thinking,"How did it get in! I never leave my window open unless I'm looking at it!"- I'm very severe about not having any insects entering the room-.

5:06 - 5:25 Stood away as if I was dried, thinking of all the ways I could get rid of it:

1. I could catch it and keep it as a pet.

(Two days ago I had gone to the pet shop that I take a look at everytime I'm out, it's been a month that I've thougt about buying a snake or a spider as a pet, The prices were from 200 to 450 CHF . I asked the guy about taking them from one country to other - switzerland to Iran-, he said getting a permission for snakes is very difficult but spiders are easier.)

2. I could use one of these insect killer sprays -not a good option, I didn't know what it would do to my books and papers and plus all, they're toxic-.

3. Catch it and throw it out of the window.

4. Get out of the room, leave everything, lock the door, cover the cracks and never enter the room again.
In the meantime the spider had gone up his silk, back to the top shelf in the corner of my sketch book, scared of my move and waiting there and seemed to be planning to stay there as long as...i don't know...till he feels safe to move again!!! How does he feel that?

5:26 Decision made

5:27 Maryam:" Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"

(Mom's my hero, she catches insects in a blink of an eye...very impressive from my view)

روزت مبارک

5:28 Illuminating some facts for my mom as if she misses and the spiderman crawls into my books or under the shelves I would abandon the room- I thought one day in year 5050 they would open my room and find mutated spiders and big spiderwebs all around the room, they looked like the mechanical creatures in the machine world in 'The Matrix'.

"Damn TV It ruined my imagination and my ability to umm, well uh...you know."

-Bartholomew J.Simpson

(why did i think that i would be dead by 5050 but the spider in my room would be alive and would have reproduced!!) -

5:28 Mom gettting ready to catch it and aiming for the poor creature.

5:29 Maryam: "Mission impossible"

5:29 [few seconds later] Mom: "Mission accomplished"

بخاطر مسائل امنیتی نمی توان جزئیات عملیات را افشا کرد

5:30-5:40 Still standing there trying to digest what just happened. Examining my shelves to make sure there's no more of those surprises.
[ I have always took spiders as intellingent creatures and this time too, the spider had a very witty reaction to my withdrawal.]

When the battle is over and the ground is cooled, well, it's then that you see the opposing General's valor.

5:45 back to work

[ what was the spider thinking!! Where did he think he's going? Maybe he wanted to come on to my page and read Naser Khosoro's poem!! ]

• The Lesson Was : Buy a pet that you wouldn't mind having it out of the cage - I think snakes are better options-

PS. I already have a pair of extremly intelligent parrots for 5 years now,

I had two tadpoles (I'll be writing a post about them with all their pics and a resumé of their journal)
Two years that I have a Gold fish, I call her My Moby Dick . I can't live without her.
and there's a spider web with it's spider in my window frame- I wash there a lot but I do my best not to hurt the web- and I get to observe everything with it like how the spider knits it and how the insects get stuck and how the spider runs, wraps it and...eats it...I actually filmed it once -I film a lot of things, sort of Everything and Everywhere- I also love observing different fruits rot, I take continuous pictures of them and view it in a slide show, It's fantastic. I also had two rabbits and a lot of JooJe -They all died-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19 hours and 35 minutes later

Mission: Solo / Location: Hallway / Time: 1:20 a.m / Time Zone: GMT+1

Caught a beetle and tried getting rid of it myself, poor try, I didn't hit it hard enough so it was still alive when his guts where coming out, look at it's colour...turquoise...wow...

so anyway I used the insect killer spray at the end.

• Lesson: Hit hard or don't hit at all.

PS. The thing is that I don't scream when I see insects, if I did, my parents wouldv'n had sent me to a psychiatrist.

احوال نامه

*

*

I like all three

but I think I'll end up being the first one

which one are you?

~

از هر سه حالت خوشم میاد

ولی فکر کنم آخرش در حالت اول قرار بگیرم

شما کدام هستید؟